Two Reasons I Cry

Today I listened to a song by Ginuwine, "Two Reasons I Cry". This is a song about how he felt after he lost both his mother and father died. They are gone forever. Its very difficult for me to deal with death. By ignoring it and suppressingthe emotions I have inside its hard to understand and to even fathom the different people that I could lose if God calls them.

I was awaken today by a text message from my friend who alerted me of the passing of my professor. I was stunned. I still cannot believe it. I'm not exactly sure when it will hit me or if it has and I'm over it and I have have learned how to deal but either way I have to realize like the others that I have loved that have gone before her, she is gone. She will nto be back. She will never be able to make jokes about "benonce" as she calls her or even talk some sense into these girls here. I have learned aendless things from Professor Hunley, from what to wear to how to properly write a partner letter and the tradition of concubines. She will truly be missed.

Her death has inspired me to live my life to the fullest. Although I pray I have many years ahead of me, the truth is that its up to GOD. I cannot determine when I die but I can try and live healthy and honest to myself and those around me, that love me. I cannot stress over small things, or even worry what others have to say, because at the end of the day, If you love yourself others will love you and when it is your time you will be missed. Kindness and honesty is the characteristics of a happy person.

I believe that Professor Wanda C. Hunley was happy. Although she didnt have a husband, children and had lost her parents she was able to love herself and now she is able to rest peacefully with the family she had lost.

This tragedy has given me a new outlook. I cherish the family and friends that I do have with me and those who are gone I miss but one thing I know is that by making every moment I spend here on earth a memroable one I will truly be happy, as Professor WCH was.

R.I.P. Professor

The Distance between Our Hearts

The Picture above is of Stockholm, Sweden. In 2006 I had the pleasure of visiting this blessed city and I enjoyed every minute of it. The air was clean and the people were very friendly. I was able to talk to my mom sometimes and my friends sometimes due to the Internet access in the hostel I was staying in, but before I go to in dept on my trip and the accommodations let me get to the topic of today's blog: Understanding.

If I have told you I LOVE YOU then that never stops unless u have hurt me. It is important to remember that MY LOVE doesn't fade. those who have made an impact on my life or the life of those that I love are very important to me. I also understand that because I was a little busy my first semester of college it was hard for me to juggle family, friends, work and schoolwork.

The first thing I realized was that I had to make a plan. I started to plan my days and weeks which is helping me to get on a better path of juggling everything at once. Moving onto campus was a great day but it was also symbolic. I was packing up my "world" and moving it to a different location, but I had to realize that all I tool with me as stuff. I left behind my love and most of my heart. My home will always and forever be Buffalo, NY., but currently I live in Atlanta and I love it.

the one thing that I didn't realize was the impact that my changes had on the relationships I had with my friends. It is hard for me to even predict that my emotions and ideas toward our friendship had changed.

Because I make new friends does that mean I have dismiss the others?
Because I am now apart of a sisterhood of women and have grown close to them does that mean that the young ladies I grew up with cannot be apart of my life?
Do they feel like I have abandoned them?
Because I don't call everyday do you feel like I don't care about you anymore?

I cannot answer some of these questions because they are designed with my best friends in mind. The past conversations that I have had about the different hostility between us and the ideas of me being different since I came down here or because I have different friends that I have gotten close to means that I am no longer close to them which is COMPLETELY WRONG!!!

I LOVE MY BEST FRIENDS.....and yes its plural. MY BEST FRIENDS ARE JUST THAT. And because I have made other friends it doesn't mean that they have taken your place. I can become close with other people and still love you the same and more. My location has nothing to do with my emotions or even my ideas about my friendships. I still love my friends but apparently I have been living in the wrong world because I have changed and there is hostility between my friendships and to let everyone know, I have no problems with anyone. I love my best friends Deidre, LeahMarie and Tashanna. I put them in the order in which they came into my life.

Deidre or Deidra as many know her is my best friend since the third grade. We have been through a lot together and even though I talk to her all of five times out of the year she is aware that she is my best friend and that will never change.

LeahMarie is my Ace. She is my Earl. She is my bestie and that will never change. I will always be her bestie too. She loves me and we have the email plan now so we can keep up on our current events.We have known each other since dance but were reunited in the sixth grade on the cheese bus....and been besties ever since.

Tashanna is my bestie that I have known for less time but is my bestie none the less. I'm guessing since we didn't have a strong foundation she didn't feel like I was the same since I was not calling her everyday, but like I said, I LOVE YOU.

Wrapping this up before it gets too long I have to say this..............


NO matter where I am or how long it has been since I talked to you..........I still love you like I did the last time I saw you. The fact that we don't talk doesn't mean that I care less it just means I don't have enough time to call you, mommy,grandpa,my cousin Joel, and my other family that may have called me that day.

Love that can stand the test of time means something. Keeping that in mind I end with this: Love is a battle of time, winding down into one beat, in your heart.

ONE LOVE .

Fine Dining in Mixed Company

This is a picture of me and my closest friends from home. I love them. This outing is a reason why I expect more of someone when we are in a restaurant, no matter what type. I have a group of friends that can carry themselves in a respectable manner and is gracious for the service they and I receive.

Tonight I went out with a group of friends, and my friends guy friend friends and it was very interesting. I feel like going to college has set my standards at an all time high. I not only need a guy who I am physically attracted to but also a guy who has a plan and is not just living in the now but planning for and ready for the future. I encountered four different guys tonight. The first, my friends guy friend is a straight up wanna be thug, because I can tell he used to be a pretty boy. The second was a guy that was a little too shy, he said less then twenty words all night. the third guy is a complete and total country bumpkin, and the last guy was a OK, but that means that he gotta have something he hiding, like a kid or something. We all went to this restaurant with horrible food...that wanted to be Texas Roadhouse, and wasn't. My salad was even bad.

I cannot say much else other than it was interesting and the conversation helped us to really see the different standards that people not only have for those they keep in their presence but even themselves. The different emotions I may have toward a person is changing because I am changing. I feel like it is important to know yourself and understand what you are looking for in someone before you even meet them and except them into your life. By knowing you someone else will want to be with you, if you welcome them.

MUCH LOVE..........

Since I'm on vacation, and no one was up this morning we didn't go to church. I didn't feel to bad because I did go to church last week and I plan on going back in a two weeks. But this outs a question in the table. Does vacation to me mean not going to church and does that mean that I feel like going every week is like a job and not a priviledge. I love the Lord and all He stands for. My life is for the Lord and I dont feel like even going into dept about the love I have for Him.
This is a short blog because my friends have decieded its time to go out but I feel like dedicating my blog to the Lord lets him kno he is on my mind and I LOVE HIM at all times, even when I go out!

Im OUTIE!!!!!!

You know how they say this is the first day of the rest of your life at graduation ceremonies? Last June when I sat in that wooden seat waiting to get one of the most important papers in my life, my high school diploma, I was unaware that it really was the first day of the rest of my life.

My entire outlook on MANY different aspects of the world has changed since then and I have truly transformed into a different person, for the better. I have met new people who will be apart of my life forever.

High School was the preliminary stages for the test for the real world: COLLEGE! I say test because unlike others I realize that being in college is not being in the real world. All of my bills are paid in college except the small ones, such as a salad from jazzmans, the local coffee shop or even @ Spelman-the laundry, but mostly everything is paid for unlike the real world where I will have to provide, which I can't even envision right now. I just understand that there is more to life then everything I have seen or have done which I am ready to now learn how to handle by listening to the advice of those who came before me.

This reflection blog helped me to get some stress and relief off my chest as I sit here in myrtle beach and enjoy the breeze from my window I am grateful that God has brought me this far.

LOVE.PEACE.JOY.HAPPYNESS.

IESHA

Spelmanite View

I have just created my first BLOG. I am very excited and I have much needed expression and artistic views to come. The world is now my canvas and I am ready to paint. It is time for me to keep my head up and instead of complaining about it, JUST BLOG!

Until next time......

"The Beginning"

It all began on a fall day in 1990, October 24th to be exact. A girl was born. The daughter of Donna and Luther. With the hopes and dreams that she possessed and the loved ones that showered her with wonderful words of encouragement I, Iesha Rutledge became the young lady I am today.

This is a little glimpse of background information that can help you to feel my perspective on things and what my lense my see. We all have different views and this blog is My Perspective. This is what we have to remember. A perspective may not be the truth in your eyes, but it is worth money in mine.