To Old Friends, New Friends and Great Escapes.....

"We are fun, interesting, young and single," were the words of Keisha (Lisaraye McCoy) in a preview for an upcoming episode of Single Ladies. The first episode was full of drama, suspense, romance and ironically: men. These single ladies, well, somewhat single, are in for a season full of fun. Val (Stacey Dash), rid herself of a loveless and stagnant relationship of five years, Keisha is the ex-video dancer/professional manizer, and April (Charity Shea) is married with a side of Mayor (Common). From the all star cast and cameo appearances (Eve, Chili, Jermaine Dupri, Kandi just to name a few), this two-hour fiasco held viewers attention through the commercials. Each week I will attempt to update my blog regarding the sizzling summer series known as Single Ladies. This show will be my summer fling. I have loved the first episode and from the previews I realize that the best is yet to come.

Now, although I can blog about this episode of single ladies from now until the next week, I would be keeping myself from getting other things done. So this week, and probably every week to follow, I will extract a topic that I am interested in that was presented in the show, blog about it, ask a few friends their perspective, and report back. This will keep the blog easy to read, and give the opinion of others.

This episode is the only one that will be the exception. I will most likely blog about it all week long, strictly because of its length. The topic that was of my most interest was introduced in the first five minutes of the melodrama. Keisha's boy toy (Woody) said that, "A guy knows in the first 15 minutes of spending time with a woman, whether he would marry her or not he would ever marry her." This is a dangerous statement. 15 minutes. 25% of a hour. quarter past, and you already know if you would put a ring on it. How does that man behave. Is there a time limit on that ring? will it ever come? These are the burning questions of women across the world. I asked myself the same question and it was true, but only to a certain extent. I know if I could ever allow myself to care for that person to eventually reach marriage. Is 15 minutes enough time to determine the rest of your life?

Single Ladies

The story of Keisha, Val and April, three women living in Atlanta, will air tomorrow on VH1. Although the lives depicted are pure fiction I can not help but think that it has been written with some serious truth behind it. These women will represent a multitude of women in Atlanta and elsewhere. Single Ladies, a song by Beyonce, and the title that some women will have forever, single lady. There are a number of reasons, both voluntary and involuntary, that explain why some women are single and some have never been or will be. As a psychology student I am cognizant of the different factors in someones life that could lead them to be single, but we can not account for that as a primary cause. No one knows why, I, myself and a lot of my eligible friends are currently labeled as "Single Ladies" when we possess the qualities that men are seeing in a woman. I will examine a few theories that have been discussed and then move to seek an answer from all of you, if anyone ever chooses to read and respond.

Reason One: "Your too Young"

Age is often brought up as a reason for me still being single. My grandfather will often say, "you are too young to be thinking about such things" but he neglects to realize that I am only months away from my 21st birthday, and have friends that have surpassed that day by months themselves. On the other hand you have my younger family and friends who, on every encounter ask, "So you have a boyfriend now?", as if he would only serve as an ancillary to place on my key chain or tattoo on my neck. I used to agree with my grandfather but as the years pass it now seems to serve as a invalid reason for why I am single.

Reason Two: "All the good ones are either....."

Who hasn't heard the saying, "All the good ones are either taken of gay." This misconception about men has lead to infidelity, heartbreak and sadness. It is not that these men are increasing at a rat that keeps single women from men. These men have chosen titles that are distinct and as women, we must respect what they choose to identify as. By doing so, we also are helping other men embrace titles, or lifestyles while maintaining our own.

Reason Three: "Your standards are too high!"

Women with a list of standards are told they have too many. Women with no standards are those who people call loose and men expect women to fall on the pin drop in the middle. There is a large misconception between standards that women have and should have. Standards should not be physical features. Standards should fall in line with your moral character and interests. Women can never have too many standards, they just should not have the wrong standards.

There are a number of other reasons that women could and are single. I will continue to list them and give an update on Single Ladies as the season progresses. Single Ladies beware, life as we know it may soon change for the better!